Back before I began this world I was turning the pages of time, and I saw a shameful sight. The ones that I cared for so much and created so lovingly were beating me beyond recognition. They spat upon my face, mocked me, scourged me, placed a crown of thorns on my head and pressed it down until those thorns were driven deep into my head and the blood poured from my face.
I turned the page again, and there I saw another painful picture. I was nailed to an old rugged cross. I looked into the face of the Roman soldier who drove the spikes through my hands and feet; pain struck my heart before the spike was ever placed to my hand, for I loved him. Oh yes, I could have never even come to this earth, I could have called ten thousand angels, I could have walked away; but I knew all those I loved would be damned to a sinner’s hell if I did not die for them. And I came not to condemn the world, but that the world through me might be saved. You understand that it was not the nails that hung me to the cross, but love. I hung there in love for you, crying out “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” They did not kill me; I died willingly for you, and rose the third day so I could be everything to you and give you also resurrection and eternal life.
I turned another page of time, and there you were accepting the work I finished for you at Calvary. You wonder why I carried out this plan, knowing the pain from eternity. I put it in the Bible, your road map, your treasure chest, my love letter to you, the story of your life in me. The reason is found in Hebrews, Chapter 12, verse 2, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” You were that joy, you are my delight, and the apple of my eye. On this page a beauty is seen far above the other painful pages.
My love did not die on the cross, for I still love you. But my heart still yearns for your love. You say you could never repay me, even in part, for all I have done for you. I do not ask you to repay; I just long to use for my glory the soul I have saved. My child, as I formed your feeble body of clay, I saw not all your weakness and failures; not what you were but what you could be. I seasoned your life with talents-let them give a sweet smelling savor to your life for my sake. I filled your life with weakness so that through them the power of Christ may rest upon you. I gave you each part of your body, disfigured or perfect, to glorify me. I only ask of you total surrender for service. I made many vessels, but few are willing to be used for me. I want to fill your vessel to carry this living water to others at home and abroad.
As I grant you my love I long to be granted your love and service; as I give you blessings I ask you to share them; as I give you hope and strength I ask you to keep in the narrow way; as I give you grace for every need I ask you not to worry; as I show you the way-show others; as I open doors-walk through them; as I close doors be content with what I choose; and as I grant you new beginnings each day, grant me a fresh vessel for use.
I do not promise you a life of ease, but I do promise “lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” And I will meet every need according to Philippians 4:19 “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Remember my promises given through my prophet Esaias “Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Look unto me and live.
The Author and Finisher of your Faith,
The Lord Jesus Christ
Written by Abigail Sightler
in September 1990, Age 16